06 August 2017

The demanding ashtangi

" An advanced yoga practitioner is not one who has tasted the most advanced poses,
rather one who has gain advancement in their attitude and character as a person
even in the simplest form of practice in their lifetime." 

At least to me. 
It was all about the pose when i started. 
And somehow overtime, it isn't all about the pose, but through the poses we learn many other values in life. 
In the primary series, a handful of student will hit their first hurdle in Marichiyana D ( a seated deep twisted that looks like a pretzel). 
Every time when i go to them to adjust or assist them, they would asked 
" When will i ever get to do this myself? I have been trying for 6 months already, its still not happening!"
Most times, i laughed it off and told them that i struggled for 3 years without a teacher before the magic happened to me. I'd been through that " feel bad" and frustration enough to empathize them. Still, the reality is, our bodies need time to condition. 
Don't be unreasonable!
Then what, the next hurdle at Supta Kumasana took me 6 years! 
Even now and then i still need help, should i sit down and cry?
It's funny how we love to allocate timeline on different stages in our lives and similarly how we allocate timeline for achieving each pose.
Who say so? Who set the timeline? Who frame that limitation?
Instead of being demanding towards those poses, why not demand for more patience, persistence and endurance in the practice?

23 January 2017

What is the sound of ( your) homecoming?

The beeping sound of the automatic car-lock at the carpark below our block.
Somehow, we knew that beeping sound must be from our dad's car.

Mmmummm! Dad's is downstairs at the carpark liao! *singlish

Endless giggles, jokes and teasing among the sisters.

The anxious clanking of the pots and pans, chopping and sizzling from the kitchen.
Mum was just rushing out the last dish.

Come, help me taste if the soup is nice or should i put some more seasoning.
Ok ah? Can ah? Then get ready to set the table, your daddy is reaching home soon ah! *

Clicking of the footsteps outside the house, the sound of the keys clinking. First unlocking the heavy-duty lock from the metal gate, then the sturdy wooden door.

Daddy! You are back, can have dinner liao!*
Hmmm. I go shower first, you all get ready. 

Symphony of table-setting: choptstick, ceramic bowls & spoons, a few episode of shouting from mum, pushing chairs around to make space...

Finally, everyone was on the dining table for dinner as a family.

Haiz, finally can sit down, so busy at the kitchen whole day. Come, let's start, drink the soup first hor, its very flavourful, i used slow- cooker to prepare it for hours.... ....... *
That was the sound of home-coming when i was young.
The sounds from my parents, the familiar sound when a door unlocks... the anticipation still triggers a reaction inside me.

Year after, and today... homecoming probably feels more like a state of comfort, security and reassurance i provide for myself. The moment when a steady silence is still maintain regardless of how chaotic and exciting fun time the world is having.

Not always though, it is much challenging then i ideally wanted it to be; however, whenever i catch a period of the inner voice of silence, i think feel safe and nice:)

* singlish 
singapore version of english. It is a mix of dialects, languages and no-sense expression.
Its heavily used as part of our communication with friends and family. 

01 January 2017

2016 ----> 2017

We always move forward, even it doesn't feel like it. 
Even with every setback, we may feel like stepping back;  it is also part of the process to move forward. 

Those were the words my teacher, James highlighted during the last few coffee sessions before i headed to Mysore.
I guess, that pretty much sums up my year of 2016!

2016 hasn't been easy, but it has been smooth and fulfilling. Many things happened, and i did have to work doubly hard than i planned to, just to make this year end trip happen.
Always thankful for the good people around me who made me feel damn lucky!

I've always hear others hopping for a better next year. Or even accumulating years of resolutions, which probably remain untouched till the following year.
I used to believe in resolution, and finding myself getting a long list of " have- not- do- list'.

The more i look at it, the more i felt that I'm going to regret living a life like this.

So i stopped. I stop listing down resolution, i stop hoping a better year ahead.

I had a good year, and it cannot be better than the way it unfolded for me.

I am looking forward to having more opportunities and necessary changes in my life.
And all i ask from myself as a reminder, is to be firm with my boundaries and enjoy the process.

 ---- No social party in the process, i slept through, very well rested:) -----

On the first day of 2017, 

Headed to Operation Shanti for play time with the kids. 

I first met them when i was 22, and now I'm 30. 
Every time when i looked at the older kids, i'm amazed by how fine and well they have grown up to be. 

Given a conducive environment & proper education, any kid from any birth background can excel in their life--- when they are willing to work hard for it. 
And this applies to us, grown- up adults too.

Isn't it? Just that along the way, we forgotten about it & cries how life has been treating us badly.

To get a little more introspective, just few days before,
I've friends gave birth to lives & people who passed on. 
Everything happened too quickly, and the whole process was too surreal. 

And that we are all in the process of living and dying. 
I do not wish to have another death to remind me how much we should appreciate each breath we are taking.

On the last day of 2017, 

I wish we all have become a better version of ourselves from today, Happy New Year folks!