06 October 2014

Winter challenge: Breaking the pattern. Do something different.

In between the months from the previous post, hitting the Autumn of " battery running low" level.

Just at the moment, i chose to let go and cut down some classes so to keep myself in balance--- very glad to gain some understanding from my decisions.

Everyday, we face waves of challenges to test every aspect of ourselves-- But not everyday we get that wisdom to solve them, so we tend to put them aside.
With the accumulation of issues piling up, i feel the suffocation.

I wanted to go away to somewhere, anywhere.

Once my teacher told me bluntly-- The seed of the problem will still bear its fruits wherever i go. What are you running away from?

I didn't understand him at all, i kept that in mind though.
Running away. Is the easiest way, but that's not the way out. It took me awhile to realized that.

2014 has been rather transformative for me personally, many things that i didn't or refused to understand from previous years, i conclude that it is time to put a stop to all those struggle to try to make things right.

I'm going to do something about it!

Quoting from Kino Macgregor :

" If you try to hold a thought, or a person you are trying to change in an antagonism relationship, you are actually creating more of the same energy of the same. So we have to break that pattern." 

We will never be able to change and control what's outside of us, BUT we can always start to creating a healthy pattern with ourselves to break the pattern that causes unhappiness. 

" Be the change you want to see in the world." that's what Mahatma Gandhi, yeah!

Yes, honestly, the demanding yoga practices of Ashtanga has definitely play a huge role of the many things I'm doing with my life.
Emotionally, i do feel the strength of being a little less wavering & gaining a little more clarity within.

2014 has been extremely meaningful for me, initiating a few steps forward to break off all my doubts to explore Sea Turtles Projects in Bali yay!

Next would be visiting a country that i never desire to go to, Shanghai-- but i decided to keep my mind as open as possible.

Having great companies did play a huge part of me appreciate every little thing and moment i'm was in-- never deny any opportunity to love something.

I love this! That my friends were so spontaneously played with me:)
We all cross path to learn from one another:)
Never forget to fulfill your dreams while working hard for life, and share them with others too!
This winter will be something i extremely looking forward to-- heading to Mysore for couple of months for practice with Sharath.

Practice, eat, nap, eat, sleep & repeat---

Planning aside a block of time to de-clutter whatever are inside,
doing nothing as being such luxurious,
back to basic & simplicity--- the time i sort of what's the next step i wanna take in life:)

20 July 2014

For the students whom we open and close the practice with Chants:)

I decided to introduce opening & closing mantra to a group of students fairly new to the Ashtanga practice yesterday. However tongue- twisting it may be presented at our tongues, I was glad that they were very open to give it a try and sing along with me.

Mantra, is one aspect that draws me into the practice, i love how the vibration we created can really  centre my mind, and the resonant after gives an amazing feeling of calmness. 

The concept of singing the opening chant is a great to platform to withdraw any external distractions and get drawn into our centre-- before starting the practice.

Personally, though i may not understand completely the real meaning of each verse

due to the language barrier of Sanskrit--- English translation however only offers a very surface explanation of the mantra;

I take upon the chance to thank the many previous teachers along the lineage who relentlessly passing down the knowledge for over the centuries till today---

Patanajli ( the sage name that appear in the opening mantra, is believed to the the first person who created the yogic knowledge that makes applicable throughout the years of generations--- on the book of Yoga Sutra)  so that we get the chance to learn and be in touch with the practice for our well-being. 
While after the physical practice, the closing mantra plays a good role as the closure of all those self- exploration, emotions roller- coaster and self- confrontation that happens during that 1.5hr to 2hrs hard work. 

It sets as a gentle reminder and appreciation for ourselves of making the time, space and effort to be in the practice, and for the craves of the self-knowledge. Always be grateful for the opportunity to be on the mat. 

The very first year when i started attending yoga classes in a big yoga studio in Singapore, the teacher would lead us into an "Aum" before starting the class. Which i loved it how it sets us in the right attitude after all those hectic rush and stress from work. 

Thereafter, the teachers stopped this practice instructed by the management, as some members were not comfortable with it. I felt a little disappointed of course and ridiculed by the discomfort. 

For those who were not comfortable could choose not to join in the "Aum" and wait for the rest; respecting the ancient practice, instead of stopping everyone from it just because of personal mental imbalance. 

It was a little saddening to me personally, because then the idea of yoga practice becomes so physical and concept of exercises ( which is definitely not)--- the contortion of the underlying purpose of the practice continues as the whole system was broken down into pieces. 

Soon after, i was drifting away from commercialize classes, because they no longer able to feed me answers for my questions other than on a very physical level. 

Now, as being a yoga teacher myself, that gave me a motivation to bring the connection of the physical ( asana)  practice and the more philosophical part of the practice to my students--- along with asana, we need to go beyond and understand the intention of the yogic system. 

01 July 2014

梦想.लालसा.aspirasi. Dreams.

One evening, on my way to a class on a taxi....

While enjoying the moving scenery, the smoothness of the wheels on the road and listening to this interesting interview made over the radio of a mandarin channel;

With a veteran local actor who recently started his dream project of directing a film entering into the China market, 朱厚任 ( Zhu Houren)--- talking about a topic on 梦想 ( Aspirations). 

My attention immediately shifted from gazing of the passing trees & blue sky filled with fluffy clouds to him. What has this man who has already been around for more than half a decades has to talk about dreams at his age. 

Him talking about how much courage he took to step out from his comfort zone from being just acting to directing, he mentioned one sentence that came closes to my heart:

The dreams of a child, are usually tarnished by parents. 

Such reflective sentence came from his mouth of being in a role of a parent himself, was such a warm-heartening and relived from my constant tug-of-war with my parents. 

As i've mentioned in my previous blog posts, i admit that I'm probably the most rebellious child in the family--- i am not guilty at all:) 
In usual cases, my parents will only support my idea only after the change is a successful one. Which upsets me, sometimes. 

The closest kin are the ones who can hurt us most, because the relationship is close enough for that. 
Till today, i get constant disagreements with my parents for the kind of places i love traveling to, the activities that i enjoy doing and the community of people i love to engage with--- and the many life choices of micromanagement can really drives me crazy.
I've seen children growing up to become unhappy adults, compromising their happiness for the sake of the expectation from their parents--- the vicious cycle is just going to pass on to the next generation; my self-duty is to identify and cut this pattern for a happier and healthier future generation. 

Of course, in the view point of parents, i understand all parents want the best for their children. They love me as much as i love them. The antagonist appear when they are trying to fit me into their boxes-- and i'm highly sensitive for such manipulation. 

I remember how my parents will always show me all the negatives news articles after my travels to India and Indonesia, or after my dive trips--- hoping to plant the seed of fears discouraging my future travel plans to these countries again. It didn't work to favor them:)

Once, i nearly lost my own identity and started to take over their insecurities about so many things in life--- realizing that my constant fighting with their resistance was making me really tired. 
I've grow enough to understand that i may not need to make my parents happy the way they wanted to mould me to be right now;

the least i can do is to make them have no worries about me for being able to take care of myself--- they will be happy when the day they can truly understand me * crossed finger for the day to come sooner*

People wondered why i love traveling away for so long, especially to my favorite comfortable hide-out in Mysore, India. While many may think that my months in Mysore is a vacation---

Its not.

Being in Mysore, puts me into a reflective mode: it gives me enough space to really breathe into who i am and ground myself into where i want to move forward as a person in future--- its a spiritual luxury--- something i can't get back home filled with constant disagreements of my growth into blooming of who i really am. 

Listen to yourself, that's matter most. Consistently listen to the voice inside, and do what is right for yourself--- everything will fall into place beautifully when we least expect.