05 August 2015

A Choice of Void

I was brought up learning not to reject offers or making people feel bad about rejection--- even on the expense of my own happiness.

Having my own share of struggles--- this coin started to flip over slowly as i started to form my way of thinking.

Thus, a very valuable lesson i finally planted for my own good is...

Knowing that it is totally OK to reject & be rejected,
and  feel neither guilty nor humiliated about it.
 We almost feel oblige to make a choice according to the offers given by others-- that we have to take something. 

Option: A, B, C or D

Choose one. 

Which one would you choose?

Maybe A?
Maybe B?
Maybe C?
Maybe D?

Maybe None?

Don't forget, a void is also a choice. 

A rejection is just another way of acceptance.

Life is just full of ironies.
We see the blacks and the whites,
but don't miss out the huge part of greys for us to play around!

04 July 2015

Just like every morning.

Friends told me that I'm crazy.
Yeah, maybe.

Among the yoga folks, I'm normal.
Are we really that eager to meet the early birds?
No & nope.

Rather, i say, to greet ourselves.

A handful of days in a week, I'm up like that bunch of crazy yoga folks.

4am. Off the snooze. Shower. Make coffee. Dress up. Coffee ready. Pack bags. Take 10 minutes alone time. Snug into a dining chair. In daze. Fresh brew in my hands. Take a couple of sniff. Sip. Then gulp. Mouth washing with Listerine. A gulp of water. Ready to go. 

5am. To the bus stop. Cheering myself up with the morning breeze. 

The first bus arrived at 5.15am.
A chubby middle- aged uncle is already there.
Making himself comfortable, his fore-arm rested on his protruding belly like a cushion.
Engrossed with his smart mobile.
Few time, he lets out giggles. I smile to myself. 
Just like every morning.

I take the other seat, facing the road.
Gazing at the small patch of grass, and the framed sky view.
Those are all i need to be at ease.
Just like every morning.

A lingering smell of cigarette smoke. 
The well-dressed man with a sling bag is here.
Standing beside the bin, enjoying his first stick of the day.
Just like every morning.

When the last "bus-stop member" arrive, the bus is almost here.
A petite grouchy aunty. Casually dressed with short neat hair.
Armed with a few environmental-friendly shopping bags over her shoulders,
waddling to be the first in line.
Just like every morning.

My first greet of the day is the SBS bus driver.
I got my first stretch in the face, enough to return a " morning smile".
Just like every morning.

The next stop just around the corner. 

A smiley aunty. Neat short greyed hair.
Earth- colored flower printed blouse, matches with a black below-knee skirt.
Hello 你好!
Greeted the " bad morning mood" aunty, as she takes the seat beside her.
She ignored & looked away.
Just like every morning.

I love her spirit.

Am i the only crazy bunch to catch the day break?
I looked around and see the people I'm commuting with----I am not alone.
Whether its a must, a need or by choice--- we do it because we have to, we want to, we need to.

.... And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music....| Friedrich Nietzsche




04 June 2015

When success lies in the tries of many failures, would you still do it?

Jump and fall over. Just fall over.

This is what my teacher would always say. Always.

My both palms flat on the mat.
Head lifted just enough to focus my gaze at an invisible spot just at the top center in between the palms, forming a triangle.
Beads of sweat eagerly skiing down my nose bridge. Every breath carried a great deal of intensity.

 Ok. All i have to do is to bring my both feet.. from behind my palms to the front. 
So, if i miss the balance on the handstand, i will end up with a backbend.

I rehearsed what could possibly happen when i take that flight.
Replayed it many times mentally. A few more times quickly when i was making last-min adjustment to my hands--- just to get the most comfortable position.

The fear of falling can be quite choking.
But being afraid of that fear ( of falling) is worst.

I jumped. Past by the balance point. Fell over to the over side.

Oh...OK. That's not too bad actually. Not that frightening as what I've imagained. 

I stood up and smiled at my teacher.

The time you jump both feet off, few things may possibly happen.

If you landed back to where you started... OK.
If you managed to balance in that handstand... OK.
If you fall over to the other side... OK.

Don't make it a big deal. Just try again.

When you try, things happen, shit happens too. 
If you don't try, to be sure, nothing will happen.