Repeated mistakes are mistakes. New mistakes are lessons.

As the yoga sutra mentioned sthira suhkam asanam ( steady & at ease in a position).

That's what we has always been working towards to, be at ease. But what's next?

Recently, i didn't feel too much of sukam; rather more discomforts and a whirlpool of emotions stirring inside. Most of the time, i just feel a gush of anger. No, i'm not angry with anything or anyone, the feeling just arises almost caught me at a loss of what was actually happening to me.

Once, my practice came to a point where i was pretty comfortable with; as my physical body was able to manage the practice almost smoothly. Which i almost fell into the area of being too comfortable, or rather, complacent.

My practice got a little bit more intense than before, as more new poses are introduced from the teacher;

which as means that i'm exploring into unfamiliar grounds. The discipline of the series does not allow the practitioner to pick whatever pose that we like to practice on; by having to follow the sequence, i can't avoid difficult situation, but to face it.

More effort, more struggles, more body aches, more falls and more attempts is pushing myself to maximize my boundary. 

Emotions arises, emotions that triggers past memories arises too. I didn't really like it, not too sure when did it creep  back into my mind again. 

Past memories just surface up whenever they like to, so does fear and anger. 

While busy struggling with my physical practices, overcoming myself for the many attempts to continue; the negative emotions are not helping me to feel any better, but worse.

There will be some point that when the recollections showed up, i felt so upset inside, at a loss of how i should handle it. Suddenly, every fibre of my muscles started to fall apart, and i could not muster any strength to move on at all. 

I even almost wanted to give it all up, slumber down on my mat and cry out loud. Phew! I didn't.

Somehow every time i manage to pull my focus back and kept reminding myself to move on. 

Pull back very muscles fibre and be stronger. 

James mentioned " Makes different mistakes.  Don't keep making the same mistakes in a row and expect to get different results!"

We love making same mistakes, and we do get comfortable making the same mistakes, out of fear.

It sounds stupids, but its true. A mistake is a mistake, if we repeat them. A mistake is a lesson if we don't repeat them. 

That's what happened to our past memories; it kept popping up, because i did't handle it the way i should be.

Yoga practices, has the ability to dig into our old accounts of our past deeds. Whether we want to start anew fresh life or not, we can't run away from our unsettled old debts. I don't like it, but i'm not running or avoiding from it. 

I'm willing  to work hard to handle every bad debts that i've accrued.

So, does practicing yoga actually make us more calm? 

Yes, after the crazy hard work of handling thunderstorms within us. 

Then, why work so hard to fight the thunderstorm? I don't know.

What i do know, is that there are so many question inside me, that the material world can't satisfy me.

There are so many wonderful experience i want to be in touch with that i couldn't get it from the outside. I do taste that sweetness of honey after each thunderstorm i've fought with, 

and i want more of it. 

Should i turn Left or Right? ( after corpse pose)

Should i turn to the left or right after resting in savasana ( corpse pose)?
This is one question i've been wondering for a long long time, that i read up and managed to dig out some answers that satisfy me.

Now, in turn, many students came up to me asking me the same question.
Why some teachers make us turn to the right, and some turn to the left? Which is better?
Which is the correct one?

Both are good for its own purpose. Both are correct. 
There's is always a purpose to a decision to an act. We just have to learn about it, and use it appropriately.

For my case ( i'm not too sure about other teachers though, they may have other reasons),

If i'm leading morning classes, that my intention is to make the student feels more energetic throughout the day--- i will suggest resting on the right side before getting up.
It is also suitable for people who has low BP.

If i'm taking a evening classes, with the intention to promotes calmness for the night rest--- i will suggest resting on the left side.
It is also suitable for people with high BP & during pregnancy.

A very general guideline:

Right side of our body governs the Yang ( masculine/ sun) flow of the energy in the body. Creating heat, and makes one feel energetic & active when promoted.

Left side governs the Yin ( feminine/ moon) flow of energy in the body. Promotes cooling & calming and passiveness of the body.

When looking into the a more scientific angle,

Our heart is located more on the left side of the body.

When we lie down on the right side ( which means that the ground is further from the heart) , the BP will rise slightly, due to the extra effort for the heart to pump the blood to the heart against the gravity position.

When we lie down on the left side ( means that the heart is closer to the ground), the BP will drop slightly; as we are on the side where the blood will flow down towards the heart with the gravity.
Much lesser work is needed to be done.
That is why most doctor will recommend pregnant ladies to rest on the left side ( because they get chest tightness, and chances of high BP is more than normal body condition)

* You can try using a BP machines, and check out your pressure while resting on both sides

While there's no one position is the best. Yin & Yang, Left & Right--- they operate hand in hand, interdependently.

If one do not have major medical condition, its not a big question on deciding which side to rest one.

Otherwise, do check it out with your teacher, whichever side that can better improve or manage your body condition:)

Happy resting!

Angry. So what?

I blew my top. The other day.

Not really, but i'm at the edge of blowing it off over the phone.

Honestly, i didn't like it. It did not to make me feel any better throughout the whole day.

My cheque was over-dued for weeks & the other side of the person who i was working with ( not shirly of course!) was trying to smoke me out. We had not met before, but we have business deals. 

If i had a little more space, i would have make a choice to be a LITTLE more patient.

Anger, however may be noted as a highly negative emotions, it is still living inside us.

As much as when my anger was starting to engulf me, i was very aware to let it exit somewhere out of me; and keep things as objective as possible. ( maybe i was too blunt to the person over the phone, but i ended off with a big "thank you", which i would not have done so before).

I practice detachment, i did.
Right after we ended the conversation, i stopped thinking about it, and moved on to other stuff.

Guilty? Nope.

There's nothing to be guilty about being angry, just like being happy.
Every emotion that we felt & expressed, has after effects.
Anger, did not have good after effects, because i was pretty drained out that day.
Nevertheless, it reminded me of how realistic of our present life is.

How little things that are happening daily can easily spark and stir our emotions.

Surely, yoga practices definitely has not make me lost my ability to feel happy, sad or angry.
The practice has been teaching me to manage my boundaries, and fast- recovery from the shakes of sentimental.

Many people hold an impressions that people who are involve in any yoga practices ( especially yoga teachers), are "suppose" to be kind, loving, tender, calm & cool. 
But we are not pushovers.
Definitely not your best choice to mess with. 
Yes, we can better manage than we were before; but we are managing our struggles in life just like everyone.

As much as i try to keep my own boundary clean, i respect yours too.
If you step over me with your dirty shoes, i'll pull your hair!