15 May 2016

10 years ago, i didn't know.

Looking back at myself a decade ago, 
i then realized how much i don't understand about me, 
about life.

10 years ago i didn't know,
i didn't know a lot.

I didn't know
Ideals are like fairy tales,
The more we fantasize, the further we are.

Youth makes me felt like I'm invincible,
Yet as time flow by without batting an eye,
I'm nothing but a speck of dust on this earth.

First love felt so sweet & fluffy like cotton candy,
Heartbreaks literally made me gasped to stay alive,
The pain was so real that I was not ready to take it.

Saying Yes to everything made everyone happy, but me.
Articulated my first No was the best thing i did for myself. 
Not feeling guilty ever. 

Some friendships could actually be broken off regardless of years,
Some friendships could dive so deep so quickly regardless of years. 

Whatever decision i make, 
Anyone would always have something to comment.
Damn if i do, damn if i not
I will just do it anyway. 

I cannot change the world i hope for,
But i can change the way i perceived,
I be the change. 

This girl once lazy & fat,
who were lucky enough to received both doubts & supports,
who surprises herself for the amount of effort
she never knew she could give.

Number is not just a number, 
Getting old is kind of scary.
But getting old without growing
is scarier. 

10 years later from today,
I would realized,
there are so much more i didn't understand
about me, about life.

19 April 2016

Knowing Your Worth !

Came across this interesting story recently...

A professor started his lecture take a $20 note from his back pocket and he asked, 
" How many of you would like this note?"

Hands started going up. 

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the $20 note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" 

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the
ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. 

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. 
It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. 

We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. 

We either get devalued by our own insecurities & self-doubts or by the opinions of others.
But none of these are necessary.
None of these is going to propel us to move forward.

During our usual meeting after class, my teacher pointed " If you truly know what you are doing, that you are good, you don't have to be in the mercy of others.'

I remember the days when teaching yoga in corporate sectors was challenging for me. I was heavily judged:

- Too young ( i started at 23) CHECKED
- Too little experience CHECKED
- Too expensive CHECKED
- Unacceptable outfit ( slippers) CHECKED
- Bosses & Top management too important CHECKED


There was one interesting incident that taught me well.

A yoga-related lunch-time workshop for a company.

The lady who liaised with passed down all judgements * from the above list * at one shot over a brief meeting.

" They are all our top management and bosses. Very important people. Please don't screw up."
" Please wear something that cover the feet, its not very appropriate to have slippers in this building." 

She noted.
 I smiled.

" Will you be joining the class too?" I asked.
" Oh~ no, no."

The following day, i appeared in the class in my usual slippers.
Smiling my way through some rolled-eyes.

The class started with all well dressed-up ladies & gentlemen.

And ended with shoes & socks off, ties off, unbuttoned collars, rolled up sleeves, watches off,  loosen belts, relaxed shoulders and lots of laughter.

The bosses were happy, i was happy & the lady was happy.

So i thought, how was the worrisome before even necessary?

Thankful to that particular day, ( that i would never forget) that i received a great lesson for myself..

People can pass judgements easily on us, that doesn't matter much at all.
More importantly is, what kind judgement are we passing upon ourselves?


27 January 2016

If you can't get what you love. You learn to love the things you've got :)

Well if you can't get what you love
You learn to love the things you've got
If you can't be what you want
You learn to be the things you're not
If you can't get what you need
You learn to need the things that stop you dreaming
All the things that stop you dreaming
~ Mike Rosenberg

On a bus ride to class this morning, i am among many others commuters heading to start our day. 
Everyone seems to be tired & sleepy. Everybody got up the bus, and found a seat and settle in quietly.
I plugged on the ear piece and got into my playlist on Spotify.
ah~ that was all i need in any morning before class.  
This music came along. I thought a little.

Many things we wish it happen, but it didn't.
Many things we hope it don't happen, but it did.
So, what do we do?

I always believe the idea of being appreciative of what we have & what we don't. 
We can never almost possess anything, not even ourselves.
Always at one point, if we didn't learn how to set things free; what need to go will just dissolves in front of us. Or we will have to learn it through pain. 
Love what you do and do what you love.  
In life, there are many things we may not totally love doing.
In the bus i was on this morning, i counted my blessing for looking forward to class and the students. I'm even a little excited every time thinking about the things i planned to work with them on the mat.

To many others may be just another day getting to work, going through the routine, having to feed families and raise kids.
For this, i totally respect them for what they are getting up early for---  for putting their comfort aside and provide for their loved ones.

Realistically, there are way too many things in life we have no control over. 
But we can always choose how we feel, our attitude and how we choose to manage.

Yeah, that much we can do. That can already make a huge difference to our own little world!

We can be happy seeing the sun rise or upset when the sun sets. 
Don't forget, in the dark sky, there are still the moon and twinkling stars!

Want to check out this song that i listen this morning?