26 January 2018


Why would we expect peace in the midst of chaos?
Why would we even anticipate clarity in muddiness? 

Sukha & Dukha 
Pleasure & Sufferings
Happiness & Unsatisfactory 
Sharathji briefly mentioned that how we how to accept these duality, 
that is also part of our lives.

We can be very happy at one point, and we can also find ourselves tumbling 
down the rocky path very quickly.

Who knows whats for us next right? 
   It's interesting how much our minds work against us; 
even after all the information we have uploaded to the brain;

even how we have used up all the intelligence juice to analyse those data.
And many things still didn't happen the way we wanted.  

Almost equally, we have control over many things
as well as
many things are beyond our control.

And yet, given our intelligence,
we try to control things that are beyond our reach,
ignore those things that we have full authority over. 


Nobody like to change themselves first.
Yet we expect others' to change for us, to fit into our requests.

Our acts, thoughts, perceptions, words, 
behaviors, attitude, temperament;

So much to work on ourselves for ourselves.

For any change shall calls for a storm.
However major or minor, to go through any storms,
it required much effort, endurance, persistence and patience.
Till every particle settles. 
 What if we sees that in order for the result of sukha
we must go experience the process of duhka. 
Accepts that both states are
what make our lives alive.

All things are transient.
Even the darkest clouds will dissolute
as rain. 

Let's learn to look at our daily experience as weather;
see our life experience as climate. 

30 December 2017

Pain, you're such an enigma!

Current time: 8.45PM.
I planned to wake up early next morning, maybe 3.30AM
to get ready for LED class. In fact, to be in the queue for the 6AM class. 
So, instead of hitting my pillow ASAP, I flipped open my laptop.

I was in the midst of shower, and gushes of thoughts waved through my head.
I want to write them down before it washes off together with the shampoo on my hair.
Pain is a good teacher. 
Most time not friendly. 
Sometimes not compassionate even. 
Probably it even smirked off as " You deserved every bit of it."

Today, during practice, Sharath said to someone in a back bend " No pain, no gain."
It has been awhile i last heard this from anyone.
I took it well now, not earlier. 

Looking 8 years back. 
Young and invincible ( at least that was how i felt at that time), i didn't listen, and  i wouldn't listen.
I just wanted to do what i wanted, because I CAN. 

I was blessed with a well-preserved, soft & injury-free body ( in fact, because i was too lazy to move and exercise during my adolescent years). 
Being flexible and bendy at the time was enough to WOW & impressed myself and the people around me.

So, i make good used of it. 
Why not right? Because I CAN.

" You shouldn't bend like this, you will pinch your back once day." A few teachers said to me.
Did i listen? NO. 

I couldn't understand or comprehend their precautions at all. 
I could still pretzel or swiss-roll however i wanted without a second thought. 

Nope, don't care. So long as i get what i wanted, I'm going to do what i want.

A good 5 years later, practice progressing & body changes; and its time for my abusive attitude to stop. 
I pulled my Rotator-cuffs muscles, then my Lumbar was giving me issues, then the Piriformis...
and they kind of took turns to surface, whenever i wasn't aware enough and repeat my bad habits. 

Oh... its pay back time. I thought.
A sunny day out by the river bank checking out indians having cleansing bath;)
 At that point, I gave myself 2 options. 
1. Ditch the practice.
2. Ditch my old habits & see what i can get from the practice.

I chose 2. 
Because i have enough faith that the intention of the practice is to heal. 

I held back my pride, back-off many steps back and humbly work my new way forward.
That also meant that i have to brush pass "pain" a few times to work my way through. 
It was so frustrating, helpless & upsetting with all those struggles. 

Many times, i do just want to victimized myself by saying 
" oh poor me, why is this happening to me?" 
 You know, but an immediate response echoed, " Oh, you didn't listen, remember?" 

I like how some teachers regards the practice as a life-time practice.
 Its relatively, right?

If I'm going to commit to this for a long-time, my whole life time.... what's the rush?
What is the frustration all about? Where are you rushing to?

Make things right again & let it blossom again. Take time lady!

My school teacher once said the same thing.
" tell a kid not to touch the lighted candle"
"next moment you see the kid want to go near it"

" warn the kid again or few more time that the flame is hot, don't go near it." 
" next moment, the kid will go near the flame again."

" you know what? just let the kid get burn."
" just one time he gets burnt, he will learn"

I do see myself being teacher, sometimes nag at students a couple of times about the practice.
And i could totally relate to them for not listening unintentionally.

Well, so then i waited. They taught me to extend my level of patience indeed. 
I waited to the day they felt something was off or some pain is happening;

The day that their ears open willingly & ready to take in some information;
That my words are now more worthy to them, that's the right time for both of us. 

So even if pain seems like a heartless teacher;
not a nice teacher.
But definitely a good teacher with lots of tough love!


15 December 2017



Who has been my greatest influence this year?
I guess i should say who has i allow myself to be influenced greatly.

My teacher in Singapore, James.
Because, he put in a great amount of effort to understand me as a person first. 
With full sincerity and consistency. Never a time he pressurized me until I'm ready for my turn to understand what his teachings.  

As years pass by, i have learn to be really selective with the people i spend time with. 
Looking back, i often laughed at myself how naive i was; yet of course i have no regret at all for what i had went through.

" You are too young & naive"
" You are so blur!"
" You are too emotional"
" You are not being smart enough"
" You are such a push-over"
" You don't have to be so nice"..... and on & one.

Remarks that i received too often:)
Sometimes i thought, if i have a chance to re-live those years again, i would probably make the same choice.

" What if I'm going to die today? There are still things i have yet done."

No kidding. This is something i told myself regularly.

How far are we going to plan our life before we can savor it?
Not being adult, too playful? Maybe.
At least I'm glad that i manage to fulfill my bucket list that i owed myself for years.

Yeah, good & bad experiences keep me going forward, to who i am today:)
Actually,I'm pretty proud of myself the way i turn out to be now!

 " Make mistakes, go ahead and make many mistake. But, make different ones."James used to say this pretty often.

I believe that at every stage of our lives, there we meet a person just at the right time to make that turn in our journey. 
But of course, if we follow every turn, we will end up confused, lost and nowhere we want to end up in. 
A wise choice, a wise turn, & a wise change.

There was a question that was pretty interesting:

There are 4 paths ( A,B,C,D)
Only 1 path leads to your destination.
How would you go about this journey?