07 April 2014

Who says it's gonna be easy?

One who thinks that practice of yoga is easy, hasn't really quite done it.

Whoever who feels that this spiritual practice is full of pain and torment, hasn't stay long enough to dive deeper for the magic to happen. 

Looking at the sutras and those ancient text of on yoga, it never mention on a word or any description that it will be easy. None.

What those books reveal, are a chunk of benefits and most importantly, a long list of tools for any practitioners who embark in this self- discovery journey. 

The Bhagavad Geeta tells the story of how Arjuna caught himself in confusion and dilemma in the battlefield of Kurukshetra ---- The charioteer, Krishna then has a long conversation sharing words of wisdom before Arjuna took the next move. 

That relate to what is always happening in our inner world, the battlefield is inside each of us; the charioteer is in there, the wisdom is in there too. 

Or we may even look at those reference text of Yoga Sutra, a compilation of 4 chapters delivers the technical and scientific part of the practice--- the reasons of our constant unhappiness, backing-up with methods and qualities we need to acquire in order to stay through with the practice.

These two are my favorite reference books on the philosophical part of yoga; which i will pick up to read anytime.

As my personal practice started to get a little more demanding in general, i was initially ridiculed by how difficult it was getting. 

When i reached to a certain limit of no more strength, where i can't quite figure out what's the next step, desperately wanting to penetrate to the next drop of strength---- i thought...

" Where can i find that much of the strength to do this? What should i do to make to happen. 
Its too tough."

I know it was more of mentally than physically demanding. 

And the ancient text had already hinted us that the practice is going to a very tough ones--- with all those long list of reminders that hopefully be pounded hard in our head to keep us moving on.
Intense faith. Continuous practice. Discriminative knowledge. Dispassion. 

Its simple, yet asking a lot of us. 

Bite on and keep moving. 

30 March 2014

3 things i started not to mind as a teacher.

Its been a long busy week.... busy month....s....first quarter of 2014, 
the good news is...

Tomorrow is moon day on a Monday, ashtangis love that!
Gonna really catch that breather again:)

While savoring the rest day, l realized that there are couple of stuff that i didn't actually mind that much being a yoga teacher, looking back from the first day i started... till today.

Having A Rubber Time. 

I used to favor schedules and fixed plan, and would even sulk if my plan was affected by whatever reasons--- which i did was a rigid and real play safe regulator. 

Bye bye to that rigidity. My schedule is very scheduled yet flexible. I can have days where last minute class cancellation ( which sometimes can really be unavoidable), and i used to felt like being abandoned kid walking around orchard road. 

But i've learn to manage it by having a small note book and a pen for some doodling.. or a book in my bag, drop in a cafe along the way and spend some times reading, or even just people watching. 

That's how life works isn't it, anything can still happen however perfectly we make our plan beforehand--- learning how to manage unexpected circumstances and keep things in fluidity always. 

Not having three proper meals a day.

For goodness sake, i need to eat, full and satisfying--- but i always felt uncomfortable & sleepy during teaching class. Coming from a family culture of having to eat three proper full meals a day, i've sort of bash of the habits over the years. 

Adopting majority plant-based diet was not really helping me much initially--- my sugar & iron level fluctuate depending on my activities. By mid day, i get fatigue very often.

Irregular eating regularly. 

Along the way, I'm adapting to the habit of eating little many small thing or snacking in between classes, keeping my stomach light yet not empty is doing " so far so good".

But i still need a good dinner ;)

Whenever i desperately needed an emergency energy boost---- chocolate never fails me!

Their sweat, on me. 

Its unavoidable, unless i don't touch my students at all. 
I like being adjusted by teachers, and definitely want my students to enjoy such hands-on from me too!

Ok, honestly, i didn't even like sweating on myself... forget about touching the sweat of other bodies. 

I've make peace with it, and went ahead to place my hands and feet on those sweaty bodies, or even having them to lean on me-- getting my favorite yoga gears with a mixture of sweats.... how great to end my day with lots of clothes washing:)

No, i don't mind. I do sweat a lot, no kidding... and my teachers had never shun away, instead  they didn't mind stepping closer to help ( ok, one can't avoid a sweat-free practice with ashtanga). 

I do see that as a teacher, in order to share, i at times need to accept their sweats & tears--- then i shine some light through those cracks when they are ready to receive. 

Once my teacher asked on what one quality you want from a teacher. 
My answer: A teacher who can give a student a great sense of security. 
And that as a reflection on me too--- and i execute that sense of security through touch:)

I had a chance to catch up with my a teacher friend, both of us can't believe how time really flies of within a few blinks. And finally this year, there is a feeling of at ease after those previous years of constant exploration & turbulence--- and adapting for a more balance of teaching, self-practice and private life:)

11 March 2014

Having faith of the unknown.

The recent MH370 incident, which the tension is still going on today... i find myself check out the updates on the situation online and the newspapers daily. It did throw me back to a zone of reflection, how such a big plane still couldn't be found anywhere.

" That's life, things happen and there are events its beyond our control.", i could imagine my teacher saying this whenever i poured out my share of worries on certain things.

While there are people struggling with their last few breathes, here we are being fidgety with the peanut size stuff in our daily life. Having learnt about the many lives still out somewhere to our unknown--- it sort of pushes me into a kind of surreal feeling.

Life is fragile, and each of us has a kind of vulnerable in us. And in most time, we are building cemented wall around us to keep ourselves away from any harms--- why not feel the tenderness of life?

Like how our touch become soft whenever we hold flower petals in our hands. We want to feel the softness of the petals with our fingers, taking time to enjoy the beauty of the flower--- have you realize how everything softens while we get close to flowers? --- we smell slowly, our gaze softens and we even have a little sweetness in our smile.

There's no difference between us and the flowers--- life.

We are not plastic flowers that will last forever---- we are real flowers--- we have life line running in us, bloom it!

Being alive makes a difference in our life.
Being fragile is not a bad thing, its good. When we understand how delicate our lives are, we know how to appreciate life--- not things.

I love traveling and flying.

The one moment that i would totally sink myself in is the taking off of the plane.

Every time, i felt as if its really useless for me to want to hold on and control everything that's beyond my control. We all have issues of letting go, and let things be--- every time while the plane take off--- it reminded me to trust the expertise of the pilots and give faith to how it turned out to be.

When every time the little bud of fear starts growing inside, i would do a little quiet prayer to myself that everything will turn out ok. And i promise myself to appreciate my life more than before. That's why i like traveling and flying on plane--- the unknown is scary yet fulfilling.

Right now, i really really hope MH370 would miraculously appear, and everyone safe and sound.
Let's say a little prayer each day before we start our day, and appreciate our present moment always:)