15 December 2017



Who has been my greatest influence this year?
I guess i should say who has i allow myself to be influenced greatly.

My teacher in Singapore, James.
Because, he put in a great amount of effort to understand me as a person first. 
With full sincerity and consistency. Never a time he pressurized me until I'm ready for my turn to understand what his teachings.  

As years pass by, i have learn to be really selective with the people i spend time with. 
Looking back, i often laughed at myself how naive i was; yet of course i have no regret at all for what i had went through.

" You are too young & naive"
" You are so blur!"
" You are too emotional"
" You are not being smart enough"
" You are such a push-over"
" You don't have to be so nice"..... and on & one.

Remarks that i received too often:)
Sometimes i thought, if i have a chance to re-live those years again, i would probably make the same choice.

" What if I'm going to die today? There are still things i have yet done."

No kidding. This is something i told myself regularly.

How far are we going to plan our life before we can savor it?
Not being adult, too playful? Maybe.
At least I'm glad that i manage to fulfill my bucket list that i owed myself for years.

Yeah, good & bad experiences keep me going forward, to who i am today:)
Actually,I'm pretty proud of myself the way i turn out to be now!

 " Make mistakes, go ahead and make many mistake. But, make different ones."James used to say this pretty often.

I believe that at every stage of our lives, there we meet a person just at the right time to make that turn in our journey. 
But of course, if we follow every turn, we will end up confused, lost and nowhere we want to end up in. 
A wise choice, a wise turn, & a wise change.

There was a question that was pretty interesting:

There are 4 paths ( A,B,C,D)
Only 1 path leads to your destination.
How would you go about this journey?

06 August 2017

The demanding ashtangi

" An advanced yoga practitioner is not one who has tasted the most advanced poses,
rather one who has gain advancement in their attitude and character as a person
even in the simplest form of practice in their lifetime." 

At least to me. 
It was all about the pose when i started. 
And somehow overtime, it isn't all about the pose, but through the poses we learn many other values in life. 
In the primary series, a handful of student will hit their first hurdle in Marichiyana D ( a seated deep twisted that looks like a pretzel). 
Every time when i go to them to adjust or assist them, they would asked 
" When will i ever get to do this myself? I have been trying for 6 months already, its still not happening!"
Most times, i laughed it off and told them that i struggled for 3 years without a teacher before the magic happened to me. I'd been through that " feel bad" and frustration enough to empathize them. Still, the reality is, our bodies need time to condition. 
Don't be unreasonable!
Then what, the next hurdle at Supta Kumasana took me 6 years! 
Even now and then i still need help, should i sit down and cry?
It's funny how we love to allocate timeline on different stages in our lives and similarly how we allocate timeline for achieving each pose.
Who say so? Who set the timeline? Who frame that limitation?
Instead of being demanding towards those poses, why not demand for more patience, persistence and endurance in the practice?

23 January 2017

What is the sound of ( your) homecoming?

The beeping sound of the automatic car-lock at the carpark below our block.
Somehow, we knew that beeping sound must be from our dad's car.

Mmmummm! Dad's is downstairs at the carpark liao! *singlish

Endless giggles, jokes and teasing among the sisters.

The anxious clanking of the pots and pans, chopping and sizzling from the kitchen.
Mum was just rushing out the last dish.

Come, help me taste if the soup is nice or should i put some more seasoning.
Ok ah? Can ah? Then get ready to set the table, your daddy is reaching home soon ah! *

Clicking of the footsteps outside the house, the sound of the keys clinking. First unlocking the heavy-duty lock from the metal gate, then the sturdy wooden door.

Daddy! You are back, can have dinner liao!*
Hmmm. I go shower first, you all get ready. 

Symphony of table-setting: choptstick, ceramic bowls & spoons, a few episode of shouting from mum, pushing chairs around to make space...

Finally, everyone was on the dining table for dinner as a family.

Haiz, finally can sit down, so busy at the kitchen whole day. Come, let's start, drink the soup first hor, its very flavourful, i used slow- cooker to prepare it for hours.... ....... *
That was the sound of home-coming when i was young.
The sounds from my parents, the familiar sound when a door unlocks... the anticipation still triggers a reaction inside me.

Year after, and today... homecoming probably feels more like a state of comfort, security and reassurance i provide for myself. The moment when a steady silence is still maintain regardless of how chaotic and exciting fun time the world is having.

Not always though, it is much challenging then i ideally wanted it to be; however, whenever i catch a period of the inner voice of silence, i think feel safe and nice:)

* singlish 
singapore version of english. It is a mix of dialects, languages and no-sense expression.
Its heavily used as part of our communication with friends and family.